Whimsical Measurements

* 4 lawyers = 2 paralegals
* 2 untruths = 1 paralyze
* All perjured testimony in a gov't coverup = 1 scandalize
* 33.8 oz of a case of soft drinks = 1 liter of the pack
* 1 first-date kiss = 1 peck
* 1 french kiss = two tongues of fun
* Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = 1 Eskimo Pi
* 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
* 1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
* Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
* Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong
* 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
* 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
* Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
* 1000 aches = 1 megahurtz
* Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
* Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
* Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
* Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =
1 bananosecond
* A half bathroom = 1 demijohn
* 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
* The first step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee
* 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
* 365.25 days = 1 unicycle * 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
* 10 cards = 1 decacards
* 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
* 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
* 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
* 1 trillion bulls = 1 terrabull
* 1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
* 10 rations = 1 decoration
* 100 rations = 1 C-ration
* 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
* 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
* 10 monologs = 5 dialogs
* 5 dialogs = 1 decalog
* 2 monograms = 1 diagram
* 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
* 2 wharves = 1 paradox
* 100 Senators = Not 1 decision